You've dreamed of this for ages and ages and you're finally doing it ... a fabulous destination wedding in the place where you and your fiancé are totally excited to exchange vows. You picture every detail of how it will feel being married in front of your closest friends and family members ... and now you're hearing those dreaded words, "We just won't be able to make it."

I know it's devastating. Ken and I have had this response from several of those on our guest list ... even from some immediate family members who we really want to be there ... and we've had to come to terms with this news.

There will be practically as many reasons for this response as there are guest regrets and truthfully there's just not much you can do about it. I'm hoping that once you understand that this is their decision (not yours) you'll be able to move on and accept it.  

The most common reason given seems to be the "we just can't afford it" scenario and I know first hand that this can conjure up some mixed feelings for most brides and grooms. Everything from "can't you just quit (fill in the blank - shopping, going out to dinner, etc.) spending between now and our wedding" to "don't you have a credit card you could put it on" and many more right? Well, you're going to have to understand that for some there truly is no money or credit card available and for others maybe they just aren't willing to spend the money to attend your destination wedding.

I always say that life's about choices and this is their choice and most likely there's not much you can say that will change their mind on this. Try stating a simple, "We're so sorry to hear that you can't come to our wedding but if something changes between now and then we'd still love to have you there" and try to leave it at that.

It's likely you'll hear a lot of other reasons and some will seem completely ridiculous to you, but again, this is their choice and getting upset or angry about it isn't going to change much.

By understanding that there's not much you can do about those who say they're not coming I'm hoping you'll focus on the guests who are excited and able to spend this very special time away with you. If you can temper any hard feelings towards those not attending it would be wonderful if you kept them in the loop during the planning and after you return so they know how much you wanted them to be a part of your big day.

Do you have any friends or family members who you really want there who aren't coming? Are you upset by their reason? Do you feel they could make it but are making up excuses for not attending? For those who have already married - did those who didn't attend show remorse after the fact? Please share your thoughts on this below in the comments so we can all learn from this and support each other. *SmiLes* Suzanne

So we're engaged and we're really starting to get serious about wanting a destination wedding of some sort. Hardly any of our family is here in Texas and that means that most all of our family will have to fly in, rent a car, and stay in a hotel. So, if they're going to be faced with the cost and travel why not go somewhere really awesome?!

As we started to share this idea with some family members we were met with some serious negativity - Ouch! "Destination wedding? What's that? What are you talking about? Like where? When? How much will that cost?" Hmmm ...

When you get married you need to really think about who it's important to please. We are not young, first time bride and groom ... so truthfully - it's most important to please us and our children.

We couldn't be happier about our decision and we feel really bad about the negative responses from some of our family members. We've trained ourselves to simply reply, "I'm sorry you feel that way. We'd love to have you there and we hope you can make it. If not, we'd understand." What can you do?

On the flip side ... many have been very supportive and excited so I guess we move forward with our plans. The "complainers" will either come along kicking and screaming or they will just miss out.

I don't like feeling this way ... but our wedding is going to be a blast wherever we end up and we're very excited regardless. *SmiLes* Suzanne

Were you met with negativity when you decided you wanted to have a destination wedding? Did you feel bad at all? How did you handle it?